For many families across the Denver area, the hardest part of a senior parent’s move to assisted living is not the paperwork or the packing. The question that comes next, often asked with a sense of guilt on the family’s part, is how often they should visit. An adult son or daughter commuting from Denver may want to be present for their parent as much as possible, but isn’t sure what “being present” should look like.
There’s no single answer or perfect schedule, but it’s good to ask these questions because they show you care about your loved one’s well-being. At StoneCreek of Littleton, the care team knows that families wrestle with these questions every day. Below is a more detailed view of how visiting a parent in assisted living can benefit both their well-being and your family’s peace of mind.
How Often to Visit a Parent in Assisted Living
This question is commonly asked by adult children in the first week after a parent moves into an assisted living community. It’s really multiple questions in one, one about the family’s schedule and another about their parent’s long-term care. Truthfully, there’s no formula for figuring out the perfect number of visits because every situation is different.
For example, some families visit several times a week, especially when their parent is highly active and engaged in the community. In higher levels of care, the care team may recommend certain times of day or week to visit. These may not always work with the family’s schedule, but phone calls in between visits can help bridge the gap.
The Impact of Family Visits on Resident Care
One thing families should always keep in mind is the proven benefits of visits from friends and family. Even beautiful, well-appointed living communities can feel isolating for residents used to living on their own and seeing family more often. The frequency of the visits depends on each family’s situation, but consider just one resident story published in BMC Geriatrics:
“[…] her daughter came one day and oh my goodness gracious. Her face just lit up.”
This quote describes not only the benefit of family contact but also how difficult it is to measure that relationship accurately. Consistent contact with family alongside daily life in an active living community helps residents feel less isolated in more ways than one.
Visiting a Loved One in Memory Care
While assisted living residents can keep a more independent schedule, memory care residents are more restricted. In memory care, residents often receive support around the clock, so family visits cannot always be scheduled separately from care.
However, this can benefit families and their loved ones. Since parents receive the help they need with their meals and daily tasks, family members no longer have to assist with those tasks. Visiting time can be used exclusively for spending time together.
Setting aside one or more days as visiting days can give residents something to look forward to each week. It can also reinforce the weekly routines that become more important as memory care progresses. A standing Sunday afternoon lunch or a Wednesday coffee break can be more effective than longer, less frequent visits, especially for a parent living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.
How Alzheimer’s and Dementia Can Affect Family Visits
Many families worry that a dementia diagnosis makes visits less worthwhile, especially if their parent no longer consistently recognizes them. Erratic behavior can be stressful. Understandably, many feel that not visiting a parent with dementia helps avoid giving their parent even more stress.
However, even if a parent cannot recall their child’s name, studies show that feelings often run deeper than memory. A recent study published in Alzheimer’s & Dementia found that “empathy appears intact in AD dementia, suggesting that this cognitive domain is preserved throughout disease progression.”
What this means for families is that the sound of a familiar voice alone can still make residents feel loved, beyond the limitations of memory. At StoneCreek of Littleton, memory care takes place in The Cottage, a secure neighborhood with a small associate-to-resident ratio and a team trained in Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care. With care services available around the clock, families can focus on visiting as a family rather than as caregivers.
How to Make Every Visit Count
Many families struggle with guilt when placing their senior parent in assisted living or memory care. However, every visit connects residents to the life they have always known.
For those still able, an outing to the Mary Carter Greenway Trail or Historic Downtown can be a welcome change of pace. For those whose parents should remain in the community for their well-being, enjoying the on-site culinary team’s daily offerings can be a great weekly tradition. For those who can no longer leave their rooms, room service is available to bring the dining experience to you.
Placing a family member in memory care is an act of love. At StoneCreek of Littleton, our goal is to help residents and their families enjoy their time as a family. Many families discover that visiting assisted living and memory care communities is more relaxing than independent living situations. They no longer need to double as a caregiver, knowing that their loved one’s needs are met.
Frequently Asked Questions
There is no single rule. A weekly visit or two, or three shorter visits a month, works well for many families. Consistency and quality often matter more than frequency. A predictable routine gives a parent something to look forward to.
Visiting a loved one in memory care can be emotionally hard, and some days are harder than others. Shorter, regular visits at a good time of day are often better than infrequent long ones, and a parent can feel reassured by a familiar voice even without full recognition.
Familiar, low-key activities tend to work best, such as listening to favorite music, looking at family photographs, sharing a snack, or taking a short walk. At StoneCreek of Littleton, families can also join residents for activities in The Cottage.
StoneCreek of Littleton provides assisted living and secure memory care services, so a parent’s care can change over time without leaving their Littleton community.
Connect With Assisted Living Services in Littleton
There’s no single right answer to the question of how often to visit a loved one in assisted living or memory care. What matters more is visiting with consistency and making the time with your loved one count. The care team at StoneCreek of Littleton provides around-the-clock care to make sure families can visit as loved ones, rather than caregivers.
Visit StoneCreek of Littleton to Learn More
For families still considering their options or just noticing the potential signs of cognitive decline, a visit to the community can help answer questions about your loved one’s situation. Schedule a personalized visit to StoneCreek of Littleton today to meet the care and culinary teams and ask any questions you still have.
